Adopting an Older Child

Adopting an older child is not easy.

And sure, adoption in general is not easy. Parenting is not easy.

Adopting an older child means they have memories, they know what has happened to them.

They have will, they never chose this, wanted this or asked for this.

They have emotions, they love their foster carer (if the FC is good) and they are angry with you for taking them away from the person who was likely the first one to  ever show them they can be loved.

They have words, and they will use them to test your patience, your conviction and your confidence in the newly formed family.

However, adopting an older child means they have memories, they can tell you bits of information that will help you respond better to their behaviours.

They have will, so when they do choose to come to you, you know that it’s from their heart.

They have emotions, the love that they received from their foster carer and felt towards the foster carer, can in time transfer to you.

And they have words, so once you do touch their heart they will tell you things that will brighten up the darkest day.

I really can’t say what it’s like to adopt a baby or an infant – obviously I can’t because we’ve not done that. I can’t really say what it’s like to adopt an older child, because we’re still so early into our life as a family, we’re just starting to get through the wall. But I can share our experiences, and hopefully get more people to embark on this amazing journey.

I’m not saying that adopting an older child is harder than adopting a baby. Every adoption is different and comes with its own set of challenges. I just want more people to know what it’s like to adopt an older child, the good and bad of it, and hopefully get more adopters to consider it.

2 thoughts on “Adopting an Older Child

  1. Thank you for writing this. I think too many people think that adopting older children is going to be too hard and therefore, just dismiss the idea. Every child in need deserves a home, regardless of age!

    Liked by 1 person

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